Grey
by Dragoon23
Summary: Summary: Brooding Nyssa is brooding. Follows canon-ish up to a certain point and than goes off into AU because I can't be bothered to keep up with canon.


Before Sara, Nyssa's world was only black and white. There was no right or wrong, only the commands of her Father. The League did not deal with ambiguities or shades. It wasn't her place to question her orders. She was a weapon, finely forged and sharpened until she only knew the League's teachings. Point her to a target, and she would kill them without hesitation or regret. She always slept well at night.

Than a yellow bird entered her world and suddenly the black and white of her life muddled. The lines became blurred together and murky. The bird ask questions and defied her father with a laugh. No one had ever laughed at her Father like that and lived. Nyssa became fascinated by the bird that brought the sun into her dark world. Sara's laughter, her joy, her struggles with the League's way. Nyssa couldn't help fall in love with the canary despite fighting against such weaknesses like feelings.

For a time, Nyssa thought Sara was happy with her, but no canary thrives in such a dark cage. She learned that the hard way when she awoke one day to a cold bed. For the first time in her life, she allowed feelings to override her ironclad control and the black and white of her life became even more muddled and uncertain.

Nyssa had stormed the city, determined to bring the sun back with her, but it was all for naught. She returned, shaken to her core. Every time she thought she could reinforce her understanding of the world, a hammer came down to shatter it all: Her Father's betrayal and death, Sara's murder and rebirth like a phoenix, and her imprisonment by the traitor.

In the end, when Nyssa disbanded the League, she thought bitterly that perhaps the world of her sun bird just wasn't compatible with the truth she knew in her heart: that Nyssa will always be an agent of the shadows and the light burned her no matter what. It would explain why Sara never visited or contacted her after she told her leave her be in that cursed cell. Nyssa did not regret telling her canary that but on particularly bad days, she wondered if her sun bird every truly cared at all about her.

Nyssa found work in a city far far away from Sara's old hunting grounds. There was only ghosts and harsh regret there. Nyssa thinks Sara would not have approved of her methods as she ruthlessly killed another gang leader and his minions on the streets. Her truths were muddled but she was still a weapon hungering for prey and there was plenty in this city. For every one head she sliced off, 20 more took their place. A ruthless and hopelessly corrupted city deserved its own merciless and cold demon of death.

One night, they got several lucky shots. After she killed them all, Nyssa collapsed in the alleyway, breathing heavily and futilely trying to stop the blood flowing from her wounds. She could feel death approaching and smiled weakly, welcoming the ultimate price of being one with the shadows. In her delirium, she imagined her canary looking down at her and accepted it as judgement. What better way to torture a shadow than show her the light she couldn't have?

* * *

Nyssa awoke with a startle and groaned on the medical table.

"Hold on, easy there."

Nyssa snapped her head to the side, her eyes widened when she heard the sound of her sun bird. "Sara?"

Nyssa thought she saw a flicker of pain cross the other woman's face but she wasn't sure. It had been a very long time since they've seen each other. Nyssa looked around, her eyes taking in the various medical and futuristic equipment. "Where am I?"

"You're on my ship, well Time ship. We… I rescued you after those bastards nearly killed you."

Nyssa dropped her head back down onto the pillow and looked at Sara, drinking in the changes. Her hair was much shorter than Nyssa remembered, a choppy pixie like cut and she had more laughing lines. They suited her sun bird. "Why?"

Sara fiddled with her thumbs, not quite making eye contact. "You know why."

Nyssa shook her head and closed her eyes. "I don't believe I do, Sara."

The other woman flinched at the name. "I've been keeping tabs on you, against regulations but I've never stopped caring."

Nyssa shook her head, disbelieving. "I haven't seen or heard from you in four years."

Sara took a breath. "I couldn't, not until you were suppose to die there. Despite disbanding the League, there were many who are still very loyal to you and they retaliated when the news spread. It sparked an all out war between the remaining gangs and the remnants of the League. Six months from now, the gangs would be all but dead. Five years from now, the city is thriving under their protection. I couldn't change that."

Sara gingerly reached out to take Nyssa's hand. "But your duty ended there and I'm here now. Come with me? Or we can settle down somewhere nice. Which ever you want."

Nyssa look down at their joined hands. Sara was holding hers so delicately as if she was afraid she would break them. She marveled at how smooth Sara's hands were compared to her heavily scarred and calloused hands, a bi product of the Pits.

She raised her head to look at Sara's eyes. They were once so guarded and conflicted, but now only love and light. Despite her misgivings, Nyssa nodded slowly. She was never one to deny any of her canary's requests.

"I would like that, Habibti."

Her sun bird's radiant smile warmed her heart that she couldn't help but tentatively smile back. She tightened her hand around Sara's and began to hope that maybe, just maybe, for all her darkness and shadows, she might finally be able to step out into the light without being burned.

The End


End file.
